Blog « Ciara Simonson

We are two weeks into the Lenten season and probably wondering, “Will my prayers get off the ground?” This season of meditating and focusing our attention to draw nearer to the heart of God is essential for what lies ahead of us. Yet sometimes we become so consumed by religious busyness and legalistic acts of fasting that we miss what really matters to God. The story in Isaiah 58:1-12 tells the story of the children of Israel who were committed to carrying out the rules of the law and ritual practice of the righteous, but in all their efforts they wondered if God even noticed.

After wrestling with the question, why do we fast and pray I discovered that God is not as concerned with our method for devotion, but the manner in our pursuit to drawer near to God. God does not require us to fast for what it does for Him, but for what it does for us. It is a practice that challenges us to change our habits, shift our thinking, transform our hearts, renew our way of living. Fasting makes our heart more attentive to pursuing what is pleasing to God. Described below are the points in the Isaiah passage that reveals the fast that is pleasing to God:

1. It comes from a humble heart

2. It requires that we practice what we preach

3. It is a practice of earnest prayer

4. It is a focus for revival and relief from what has kept us bond and oppressed

5. It entails caring for others

6. It removes pride and egotism

7. It repairs relationships and offers mercy

8. It is the journey toward our resurrection. When we make the sacrifice of fasting and praying, when we open up our hearts to give for the sake of others, when we pursuit the heart of God, and hold the desire to please God in return we arrive on the launching pad that gets our prayers off the ground.

If you need a daily word of encouragement or inspiration this season, check out NeilVermillion.com for a daily prophetic word.

I have updated my bookshelf with a new favorite Daring Greatly by author Brene Brown. I have spent many years on the couch with my therapist examining the issue of shame and why fear seemed to dominate my life. I continued to search for a deeper understanding around why we are afraid to show our true selves, why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to create a perception for others, why are we so critical of others as well as ourselves, and what keeps us from having authentic and meaningful relationships? One of the best responses so far for these questions I have wrestled with for years is found in the work of Brene Brown. She hits the nail on the head in Daring Greatly when citing the research from the Stone Center at Wellesley by Dr. Hartling who wrote, “In order to deal with shame, some of us move away by withdrawing, hiding, silencing ourselves, and keeping secrets. Some of us move toward (others) by seeking to appease and please. And some of us move against (others) by trying to gain power over others, by being aggressive, and by using shame to fight shame.” I imagine that these defense tactics show up in our lives in various settings.

Without doing a full book review, let me say, I appreciate the work that has challenged me to look deeper into my wounds of shame and find self-compassion, telling myself each day, I am enough. I have also been inspired to take courage in being vulnerable, learning that vulnerability is what allows us to develop meaningful connection with others. The courage to dare greatly allows us to speak the truth we are seeking, it breaks the silence that keeps us disconnected from our spouses, children, family and friends. To be vulnerable may feel uncomfortable. It involves taking an emotional risk of exposing ourselves while holding the fear of the unknown, however it allows us to find our strength by acknowledging our fears and engage our insecurities. When we take that step to let down our shield and unveil what is behind the mask we can embrace ourselves wholly and recognize that we are wonderfully made. The one who knows all about us (Psalm 139), everything that we try to hide, conceal, suppress, and cover up, God already knows all about our stuff and still says, “You are mine, I formed you in my imagine and you are enough.”

On Saturday May 19th, 2013 my life was forever changed. On that day I was the trauma patient that needed care and support. The stories of countless women that I have encountered serving as a Chaplain in Women’s Services began to flood my mind, I held onto their stories remembering the sacred moments I shared with them in prayer offering emotional support as they prepared to leave the hospital with empty arms. Continue Reading →

This morning I woke up inspired. I have decided to give writing my best shot and see what happens. I have decided give my writings to God trusting that He will make something beautiful of it. I’m inspired when I think of all the possibilities in light of God’s promises that says, He is able to do exceedingly abundantly more than we can ask or imagine. My ideas are possibilities, but once I submit my ideas before God I trust that God will do what He said He will do; that is allowing grace an unmerited favor to show forth in my efforts.

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There is a new challenge that has gone viral through social media that requires the participants to express three things they are grateful for over the course of several days. I imagine this challenge should not be too difficult to fulfill since we have so much to be grateful for. When I consider an attitude of gratitude the story of the woman who anointed Jesus feet comes to mind. The version of this beautiful story that is written in the Gospel of Luke presents more than a woman anointing Jesus but also the loving expression by the one forgiven. The story tells us the woman is from the city and she is a sinner. We are not told what qualifies her for such a label, but it appears that she has a reputation around the town as an outcast, speculated as a harlot, and considered a sinner.

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To have Access means to approach or have the right of entry. As a believer we have the right of entry to stand before God. We have a special privilege that allows us access to God’s grace.

The Hebrew scriptures describe the history of Judaism as the Jews knowing God as one who was separate, distant, to whom they had no access. The stories illustrate God residing in the holy of holies with only the High Priest having access once a year. The Priest had to make sure he was cleansed and he completed all the necessary ceremonial practices that included offering the sacrifice before he could enter the presence of God. The Priest had to wear little bells on his robe as indicator that he was still alive. If the bells stopped tinkling the people knew the Priest was struck dead for coming into the holy of holies in an impure way.

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It’s been over five years that I’ve been sitting on this secret. A few of my closest friends know, although I normally bite my tongue in an effort to keep my secret and how meaningful it is for me. Up until this point I have kept this secret out of fear of being criticized, rejected, or not taken seriously. In hindsight I recognize that I carried an internal struggle with my own insecurities around inadequacy and feelings of paranoia wondering what people may say.

Secretly I’ve been working up the courage to find my voice and own my truth. I am coming out as a writer, an author, a storyteller, an advocate, and a beacon of light that gives hope in dark convoluted places. Challenging; scarcely begins to describe my journey and how I got to this place of openly professing that I am a writer and will share my story with the world.

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